Last night, as I watched my daughter trash the living room with reckless abandon, I was struck by something. At ten months, she doesn't yet have a command of language, which means, she hasn't yet “understood” that she is weak, delicate or lesser than. She hasn't yet learned that boys are stronger and that little girls are somehow more vulnerable than little boys. Of course, I don't believe any of this. And I certainly don't want her to believe this.
But how often do I amend my behaviour towards her because she is a girl and not a boy? Charlotte is our first baby, so I don't know what little boys are like. I don't know how differently I'd treat a little boy over a little girl. My husband told me, sadly, that he wouldn't feel as comfortable cooing and lavishing affection on a little boy the way he does on her (of course this is all academic – I believe he would be just as loving). This is from a pretty enlightened guy – he'll be the primary caregiver when I return to work next week from mat leave. How do we do this to our little people so easily and what impact does it have on them?
Even the best intentioned parents are going to treat their children slightly differently, because we've all been raised that way. Apparently, women are stronger, pound for pound of muscle, than men. We live longer, we handle pain better. Of course we don't reach the size and bulk they do, so we are therefore, “weaker”. What will serve her best in the future anyway? Does physical size and strength really mean anything in our world now?
I hope that she will be fair and wise, kind and disciplined. I hope that she will be strong of spirit and trust her body to do the right thing and treat it appropriately. I hope that she will personify the very best of a Successful Female Rebel...
...most of all, I hope that I don't screw her up along the way!
Melissa
